Jakarta Expat Monopoly

Mata Pribadi is thrilled to bring you a unique Investment Opportunity which it would entirely carry itself if only the Google Royalty check was not so late arriving every month.

Yes, this sort of opportunity is not going to be available every day, it is a sure fire winner and could make you rich even quicker than winning Mata Pribadi’s Fill in the Bubble Competition every month

At $1,000 a percentage point at basement terms, returns are forcast to be in the region of 50% in the first 3 months alone and are expected to continue at around 12.5% per month thereafter. Compare that with the yield on your miserable US Treasury bonds – and payment will be made to any bank account nominated by you anywhere in the world – and free of withholding tax!

The initial investment will cover taking the sensational new board game, Jakarta Expat Monopoly, from concept to final design, provide working capital, and manufacture of the first 10,000 units. The licensing of the Monopoly ™  trademark and an attractively low royalty rate has already been secured.

The basics of the game will be already be familiar to many if not all our readers, however, there are many special realistic touches which we believe will make it enormously popular with its target demographic.

Those special realistic touches include:

All your favourite activities and interests covered

Mainline stations changed to bus stations due to lack of the former

“Free Parking” has been removed entirely as being a ludicrous concept – and replaced with an extra Jail which we consider far more appropriate. Receiving a tax refund has been  excluded on the same grounds

As well as doubling rents when you own an entire asset class, the rules recognise a number of clear synergies, for example if you own the Bali Villa AND a budget airline then you may quadruple  rents on both, while the same applies if you own both all the bars in Kemang AND in Blok M

Ownership of ALL golf courses allows you to raise green fees to Bali levels and charge the same midweek as at weekends; except for Tee Set on both counts as it is a special case of course.

Community Chest has been rewritten entirely to reflect local conditions eg

The “Get out of Jail Free” card has been replaced with a rather more realistic “Get out of Jail for Rp100m” card. Pricey, but is does include a free airline ticket to Singapore and a doctor’s sworn and notarised statement that you have “extreme forgetfulness”.

Utilities are a particular concern, treasure and keep the “Electricity Supply Guarantee” card should you be lucky enough to pick it up, especially if you have or are considering developing hotels on any of your properties.

Likewise the “Presidential Decree” card is an excellent card to pick up, but is best kept up your sleeve until you have lots of assets and the need is dire; it can mitigate or even cancel any other card.

Chance has  likewise been completely rewritten to reflect local circumstances and risks and includes:

Falling asleep in a taxi on the way home from Blok M, late at night

Bribing a KPK official when you thought he was the guy issuing Work Permits

Overstaying your visa

Your RT liking you

Falling in love with a very attractive “Waria”

Drinking locally produced “Jim Beam“

Investing in a bar with a local owner

While Oil and Gas assets offer extremely attractive “rents”, they can also take your every last dime, Chance includes a number of very severe cards regarding tax treatment, cost recovery audits and indeed the vagaries of geological uncertainty. International arbitration is specifically excluded.

A special “Fauzi Bear” card is introduced which leads to the confiscation without compensation of all Jakarta based real properties so that “National Assets”, such as more Malls, 7/11s and Jalan Tol , can be developed for the greater good of the city and the Nation.

Large bribes, both given and taken, are a feature of the entire board game; especially in relation to the game’s Banker. Unlike in the original board game, being the banker is a potentially lucrative position for which players bid beforehand and settle with American Express Travellers checks. Just like a Deputy Governorship of Bank Indonesia in fact.

Contact us at the usual address when, subject to the usual status and wealth check, we will let you have the full prospectus including the five year financial forecasts prior to your investing.

Best of luck! …. ED

PS The promise of a large Johnny Walker Black label next time you see the Editor secures you a JPEG of the whole board!!